Oh Missouri....

You never cease to amaze me rural Missouri.

I actually saw this sign today as I drove on highway 136 from Princeton Missouri today.



If you have a horse and buggy that needs to cross the street, don't you worry. There's a place for you in this world.

Passions Smashions

I scared one of my rommates last night on accident, but it was so incredibly funny. I laughed harder than I had in a long time. That is both glorious since laughing is so good for the soul but also sad since it caused me to realize I don't laugh enough. I chuckle a lot or say "that's funny," but the all out uncontrolled belly laugh seems few and far between these days. Another reason I need to be reminded to lighten up.

One reason I haven't been laughing hard may be because I've been thinking about my passions lately, mostly as the frustration of feeling the suppression of them increases. This has been come and go, ebb and flow since about my senior year of college.

I liken my knowledge of nutrition as a Dietitian to what a plumber knows about toilets or a builder about bricks and concrete; rarely is this something that gets me on the edge of my seat. I'll admit, I do enjoy and don't mind answering people's questions but if we're really honest, this may just be me showing off that I know more than you. This feels to me what I was trained to do...my trade. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It really is an incredibly useful thing to know and I love sharing the knowledge with people so they can take care of themselves better, no doubt about that. I'm so incredibly thankful that I have a "trade." I have a way to make a decent living and the stability of such. On the same note, I'm realizing that gratitude no matter how strong is still not the same thing as passion. Other people's encouragement, accolades, or new opportunities outside of your passion don't seem to change this passion either. Darn.

I've been able to articulate to myself for quite sometime when asked what I'm passionate about, but it often doesn't make sense to others. In a word it is: Church. Most are understandably compelled to ask "what do you want to do in the church?" Answer: Help it.

I'm talking about The Church as in the whole body of believers- every tongue, tribe, nation, small, mega, simple, missional, organized, organic or ridiculous.

It was an interesting experiment to try to articulate what I'm passionate about by using a dictionary definition of passion.
pas·sion: [pash-uhn] –noun
1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
Love: healthy biblical community- healthy church; when Jesus is Lord; watching people find themselves and God in them; building into ministries and helping to equip, teach, train; forward movement; next steps; early adapters; watching people in their "sweet spot."
Hate (let's substitute frustrate instead of hate): when Church hurts; when Church sits still; when Church won't change; when change is feared instead of expected and welcomed; when Jesus is left out; nostalgics (in relation to inability to change).
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
See above
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
N/A in relation to this context but expected to be relevant at some point in life as it relates to a male who puts a ring on my finger (and isn't freaked out by all of the above).
4.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
ex: today when I was reading about organizational vs adaptive leadership as it relates to church/missional communities/Jesus in the 21st century (feel free to wonder if that's normal--I assure you it is for me but possibly not for you)
5.the object of such a fondness or desire.
the people behind all of the above
6.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling
You can probably guess at this point.
7.violent anger.
maybe not violent, but definite anger in relation to #1

Broccoli or saturated fats are not on here friends...

What does this mean? Time will tell as God reveals, and unveils. Psalm 27:14 seems to be the annoyingly persistent scripture in this.
Why post this here for all to see you may wonder? I'm sure my mother is wondering...but the hope is to maybe get you thinking about your passions too. It is obvious even more this week to me that God-given passions will not go away, but they are often suppressed. This feels to me like a beach ball being held underwater. It can be pushed down but it will pop up and sometimes hits you in the face. It can be freeing to just call a spade a spade or a passion a passion and let God begin to have his way with it.

Lost

Last I saw my lame, old, hand-me down, I hate texting on phone was on Sunday morning as Amy M and I were leaving our room at the retreat. I put it on silent and in my bag. Then Sunday night rolled around and I realized, either God gave everyone else the memo about my poor Sabbath keeping and no one's calling me, or my phone is still on silent, or better yet...I don't know where my phone is.

I still don't know where my phone is and you could be the 10th person to say "have you tried calling it," but that would just cause me to roll my eyes and repeat...it's on silent.

I told my boss yesterday. She said I was supposed to get switched over to her old smart phone today (Monday) or tomorrow (today) anyway so not a big deal.

Not a big deal that I lost the old, lame, hand me down phone (2 other users before me), I fully agree. But I still don't have the new hand me down phone. Does she realize that's my only phone?

In the car is usually when I talk to my dad. He does the same thing and it's always funny when we can hear each other's Maggie in the background (The title Maggie is another story). But not today...I haven't talked to my dad since Friday night (when they were in town). This may actually be a record and I'm not proud of it.

There's always that issue of what if I was hurt or in a wreck or cut my finger with a Global knife...if it happened right now, I'd be OK because I could send a Gchat message to my brother in law who is online, but if he get's off, then Jessica in Tulsa is my only hope.

But what if I just wanted to talk to someone? I think I'm actually having withdrawal from a cellular device....hmmm...this might be a good thing. This might be just what I needed, to be a little disconnected and a little out of touch with things that meet immediate needs. I might just have to think about something more than 5 seconds before telling them what I think or asking their opinion. Maybe...but probably not for long given I live with 3 others and I'm about to meet Susannah for coffee. OK, so I won't be that disconnected, but it is a valid realization and one I won't be taking lightly.

The moral of the story:
Be nice to your cell phone, don't lose it and don't call it lame or it may run away from home.

Shema

Like I mentioned in the previous post, this year will be marked by my understanding of the Shema. This weekend I ended up at a very special day and half where the focus of the experience was Jewish roots of Sabbath. This came with the sharing of a Seder meal and all it's glorious symbolism. It just so happens that there is absolutely nothing Jewish,especially any understanding of the Passover that does not focus purely and intently on the Shema as this is the central and defining commandment by God to the Jewish people. All daily life hinges on this for a Jew. What will follow is the beginnings of the working out of my own understanding of the implications the Shema has on our lives. It is by no means complete or neatly packaged or without a potential loophole or two theologically. If this were something I were to teach, you can consider this the first draft notes, but something I will resist to edit and perfect as the desire is for it to form me beyond what knowledge alone can accomplish.

Enters the Shema

The Shema in short is Deuteronomy 6:4 "Hear O Israel, the Lord our Go, the Lord is One. The Message version says: Attention, Israel! God, our God! God the one and only! The whole Shema Yisrael comprises Deutoronomy 6:4-9, 11:13-21 and Numbers 15:37-41.

It is the bold and unadulterated call to make God the ONLY Lord of life.

The Shema is covenant loyalty. The Hebrew perspective can "conceive no part of the world that does not come under the claim of Yahweh's Lordship" (The Forgotten Ways-TFW). All of Jewish life was wrapped in the laws of the Torah which aimed to put every single element of life in order under God's commands.

Enters Jesus

The idea of Jesus is Lord is as central to the Gentiles as God the one and only was to the Jews. Jesus in Mark 12:29-31 restates to the Jewish leaders the Shema. This in essence becomes a significant part of the language of the New Covenant. This commandment which feels like home to the Jews becomes some of Jesus' first teaching. The Jesus that came to abolish all the framework from within the Jews lived uses that same frame for this new work which flings wide the doors to let everyone in on the promises of God (previously just for the Jews). Wow!

Now our loyalties are to be given to the Revealer- Jesus. He is the New Covenant. Monotheism previously was set up through the structure of the Torah as the means of One God, One Lord over all. Now, devotion, orientation to and around Jesus is the apex...the hub of how every detail of life is oriented around. The early church and any persecuted church understand this deeply and much more naturally then the Western church. The early church's claim of "Jesus is Lord" has the same implications of Israel's claim of one God as Lord in the Shema. The competing gods have just changed over time from Cannanite god's to Greco-Roman god's to god's of today such as romantic love, consumerism and self-help religion, food, (enter yours here), etc. Thus...

Remains the Shema

Jesus is Lord

Get Gone 2007

It finally feels like I can move into 2008. I didn't feel like I could fully embrace 08 until this weekend was over which was a dear friend's wedding. It was a very special weekend with Kathleen and Matt, and I'm definitely a fan of the co-maid of honor gig. It was so great to have Crystal as a wingman!

Every year, I generally ask God to give me heads up about the upcoming year. It was actually the week of Christmas when I started reflecting on what might be a theme or challenge or hope or word for 2008. In the process however, it occurred to me that I was ready for 2007 to pack it's bags and go. It was a feeling a little like being with family where the amount of love, respect, depth, secure connection, fun, etc doesn't change the fact that sometimes you're just ready for them to go. Last year on New Year's day I spent the morning reading and journaling and asking the Lord about 2007. The penetrating feeling was that 2007 was going to be harder than the previous year. I remember holding the idea lightly with the Lord having a freeing feeling of waiting to see how it would pan out. Well, my idea about 2007 was most definitely correct and I feel very confident I did not lean into any sensationalism of my brief and defining insight from 1.1.07. It was not 1 hard thing, it was an ongoing refining, humbling, shaping and building into the core of my character marked by some significant moments that caused me to feel deeply, hurt deeply, and be profoundly thankful that God is God and I am not. It was frustrating at times of course, and I understood anger differently this year. But I can't remember a time when I didn't see evidence of God in it. Even if the evidence was God making my soul a little more naked so I would feel the effects of his breath on my life more profoundly, it still felt like God even if it was a little more cold and vulnerable than I'd perhaps chosen. It was even a very big gift to get a heads up about it on 1.1.07. But regardless, I'm finding there's still a little of me that just wants to kick 2007 in the shins. So I've kicked it out. I can't/won't forget it, but I'm moving on and walking away from you 2007. You've done enough and had your say.

As for 2008... It's the Hebrew Shema that I need to understand: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your strength.

Simple...not easy

This verse in first John has struck a deep chord as well and I'm getting the idea that it may take the whole year to make sense of it: Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts.

Let's get going 2008, it's your turn.