Passions Smashions

I scared one of my rommates last night on accident, but it was so incredibly funny. I laughed harder than I had in a long time. That is both glorious since laughing is so good for the soul but also sad since it caused me to realize I don't laugh enough. I chuckle a lot or say "that's funny," but the all out uncontrolled belly laugh seems few and far between these days. Another reason I need to be reminded to lighten up.

One reason I haven't been laughing hard may be because I've been thinking about my passions lately, mostly as the frustration of feeling the suppression of them increases. This has been come and go, ebb and flow since about my senior year of college.

I liken my knowledge of nutrition as a Dietitian to what a plumber knows about toilets or a builder about bricks and concrete; rarely is this something that gets me on the edge of my seat. I'll admit, I do enjoy and don't mind answering people's questions but if we're really honest, this may just be me showing off that I know more than you. This feels to me what I was trained to do...my trade. There's nothing wrong with that at all. It really is an incredibly useful thing to know and I love sharing the knowledge with people so they can take care of themselves better, no doubt about that. I'm so incredibly thankful that I have a "trade." I have a way to make a decent living and the stability of such. On the same note, I'm realizing that gratitude no matter how strong is still not the same thing as passion. Other people's encouragement, accolades, or new opportunities outside of your passion don't seem to change this passion either. Darn.

I've been able to articulate to myself for quite sometime when asked what I'm passionate about, but it often doesn't make sense to others. In a word it is: Church. Most are understandably compelled to ask "what do you want to do in the church?" Answer: Help it.

I'm talking about The Church as in the whole body of believers- every tongue, tribe, nation, small, mega, simple, missional, organized, organic or ridiculous.

It was an interesting experiment to try to articulate what I'm passionate about by using a dictionary definition of passion.
pas·sion: [pash-uhn] –noun
1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
Love: healthy biblical community- healthy church; when Jesus is Lord; watching people find themselves and God in them; building into ministries and helping to equip, teach, train; forward movement; next steps; early adapters; watching people in their "sweet spot."
Hate (let's substitute frustrate instead of hate): when Church hurts; when Church sits still; when Church won't change; when change is feared instead of expected and welcomed; when Jesus is left out; nostalgics (in relation to inability to change).
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
See above
3.strong sexual desire; lust.
N/A in relation to this context but expected to be relevant at some point in life as it relates to a male who puts a ring on my finger (and isn't freaked out by all of the above).
4.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
ex: today when I was reading about organizational vs adaptive leadership as it relates to church/missional communities/Jesus in the 21st century (feel free to wonder if that's normal--I assure you it is for me but possibly not for you)
5.the object of such a fondness or desire.
the people behind all of the above
6.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling
You can probably guess at this point.
7.violent anger.
maybe not violent, but definite anger in relation to #1

Broccoli or saturated fats are not on here friends...

What does this mean? Time will tell as God reveals, and unveils. Psalm 27:14 seems to be the annoyingly persistent scripture in this.
Why post this here for all to see you may wonder? I'm sure my mother is wondering...but the hope is to maybe get you thinking about your passions too. It is obvious even more this week to me that God-given passions will not go away, but they are often suppressed. This feels to me like a beach ball being held underwater. It can be pushed down but it will pop up and sometimes hits you in the face. It can be freeing to just call a spade a spade or a passion a passion and let God begin to have his way with it.