What Happened?

So tonight I was at Journal Club...(aka COOLEST Nerds in Town Club). Actually, it is a once a month meeting I have with 5 other stellar Dietitians. We research biochemistry stuff (they do, I just act like I know what's going on) and nutrition supplementation. I know, it sounds a little lame but I am actually so incredibly honored that I even get to be in the same room with these ladies(and we can get our continuing education hours this way).

Anyway, tonight, after a rousing discussion on Sea Buckthorn berries lowering CRP levels (go ahead... google both of those)among other things, one of them asked me this question:

Why is it that no one in your generation knows how to cook an absolute darn thing?

She's for the most part right. Not many people in their 20's would know about blanching or a bechamel sauce, or at the very least... just how to follow a recipe and it turn out edible. This is a sad predicament since so many women in their 20's have an inherent desire to know how to feed friends and family well.

Anyway, my response to her question was 2 fold.
1) I think part of it is family life got strained and really busy with kids pulled every direction imaginable as my generation was being born. There literally is not time between multiple kids and multiple sporting or music or dance practices for a kid to be in the kitchen with mom. Other moms in the room agreed that they let some of the life-skill things slide because kids are busy with other important and valuable things. Another idea is that even moms who were in the kitchen cooking good meals weren't talking to their daughters about it and the daughters weren't in the kitchen with them even just hanging out together.

2) The second part of the answer is that I think women in the Baby Boomer generation were still reacting to the feminist movement when they were raising us. So in their reaction to the typical June Cleaver idea of femininity, they stopped passing on skills they learned in the kitchen from their mom and even refused to develop some of those skills themselves.

This 2nd concept struck a chord with this group. It was obvious they saw it because most of these women are the very youngest of the Baby Boomers. I think the feminist movement in more ways than not ended up devaluing the power, ingenuity, and benefit of being uniquely female. And I propose that one of the reasons the next generation knows nothing about cooking is because it was no longer considered a value to pass that information on for fear of further stigmatizing women.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame this all on our mothers by any means! This is a combination of many, many factors. But I dare say the women in their 20's are longing for the skills it takes to be uniquely woman! There is evidence of that all around me. The values of many women in their 20's at least around me, are possibly differing from their mothers. Culture in general is releasing women to pursue being healthy, taking care of yourself, and finding balance. All these concepts hit a nerve that is inherent in women to live fully in that and cooking is part of it.

But the reality still remains that many lack the skills needed. This has been expressed by women around me for sure.

So, I'm going to help. There will be cooking lessons beginning in September at the house on Wenonga.

If you are interested in joining us, please feel free to contact me! I would love it! I'm not an all-star chef by any means. I still mess stuff up and forget an ingredient sometimes, and complain that it didn't turn out as I'd hoped. In fact, I still call my mom all the time with cooking questions.... tonight even!

But in the end, we are reclaiming parts of what is lost in female culture as I hopefully pass on some basic skills in the kitchen.

We may need tasters too! Should they have pop quizzes? homework?

"Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. He said, "Hurry. Get three cups of our best flour; knead it and make bread." Gen 18:6 (And it was Sarah who got to entertain the angels!)

Intimacy, Simplicty, and a Lot of Trash

So recently I've been just trying to understand intimacy with God. Not the cliche, run of the mill use of the word intimacy but the kind that stops you and causes your life as you once knew it to come to a halt. The kind of intimacy with God that reveals parts of your character that you thought were only other people's problems. Then you can't believe you even thought such a horrifying thing as you are able to admit how hodge-podge, cluttered and inconsistent your life actually is. Or the kind of intimacy that by real grace allows you to feel and know and see and hear and smell God in a way where words just won't do and you realize that the previous kind of intimacy is OK too and just as valid.

Rest and attention to Sabbath has caused intimacy with God to grow way beyond what I would have ever conceived. That has caused me to see the clutter and frankly the absurd parts of my life. The book The Rest of God catalyzed this too. Buchanan argues that as Christians we have lost “the rest of God—the rest God bestows.” “In a culture where busyness is a fetish and
stillness is laziness, rest is sloth....Sabbath is both a day and an attitude to nurture such stillness. It is both a time on the calendar and a disposition of the heart. It is a day we enter, but just as much a way we see. Sabbath imparts the rest of God—the things of God’s nature and presence we miss in our busyness.”

As I began to catch on that my life is still to cluttered, I'm consuming WAY too much, intimacy is possibly much more simple than I've thought and Sabbath still hard to protect... I heard these two ways of life contrasted:

The American Way
Risk early
Find groove
Settle and establish
Earn and save
Consolidate and maintain speed
Retire and coast
Die

God's Way
Follow me with abandonment at every age with eager expectation that I can use your life for my purposes.
Risk always
Never completely settle
Be different
Be mine
Die glorious

As I watch my generation figure out life with Jesus and Church/church I am hopeful that there are people whose lives really will look more like God's way rather than the American Way. Granted, we're all in the "risk early" stage so the jury is still out to some degree... but I see evidence of simple, and thick and textured fabric being woven into us. Fabric that will weather storms and be able to carry people to be feet of Jesus. This thick, rich, textured fabric is character and mission. God's character is what weaves strong chords of texture in our lives. The journey of what it takes to build character possibly adds the colors.

Mission is what is driving the whole thing...the speed in the needle I guess. "Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: 'God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in all the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day, right up to the end of the age.'" Matthew 28:18-20

But we must stay closely connected to intimacy and mission. I heard it said well last Sunday that you must be "absolutely resolute in his delight for you....unless we're really able to live in the reality that we are loved and absolutely desired by a God who loves you, it will be really hard to trust him. He has ideas about you that you don't yet know about. There is a story built into the fabric of your life that God is absolutely determined to tell if we'll let him. We have not been made for just the America thing."

So what's the result? What am I doing? What changed? I am starting where I am, not where I am not. So far....

I cleaned out my room.

The pictures are my desk before and after (you can't see the other 2 crates of books and 2 of files...but you get the idea.) And today I filled up another trash bag of clothes to give away.

I'm reclaiming Sabbath, pursuing intimacy, and simplifying.

(It occured I gave no credit where it was due. The following people contributed whether they know it or not: Louie Giglio via Isaac Anderson, Shelley Winkler, Tom Brawner, Mark Buchanan)

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I want some decaf...

I had lots of great thoughts today about my new job, what I feel like God wants me to focus on this semester complete with pictures of how I got started on the simplicity part of it, etc. I even had great connections with Colossians 1 and supremacy of God.

But then I was thinking how much I really want coffee right now and I'm done thinking for the day. It's 11pm and I'm tucked into my little nook (weird space in my room where my bed is) with candles and The Holiday soundtrack playing (I've felt kind of like Iris today). I'm teaching myself how to turn my ordinary spaces into sacred spaces. I'm mostly just thankful, but a little hot and wishing I could smell the candles better (sinuses). And I'm still thinking about coffee....I haven't had Starbucks all week which is a switch since that's usually where I end up a couple times a week to either meet someone or read. I don't necessarily prefer it. It's unfortunately a convenience issue. But, lately I've been making it to the Roasterie.Being the daughter of a small business owner, I tend to lean toward supporting local business and I just feel like I'm "sticking it to the man" by not going corporate. I recently found the Delocator that compares the locations of independent coffee shops to Starbucks. In my zip code there are 8 Starbucks vs 9 independents. A couple of the independents are lame though and possibly shouldn't have made the list, but regardless, I did find one I need to check out.

On my walk earlier (with a blue and brown stripped sky and lightning--AMAZING!) I was thinking about front porches....Starbucks is now considered the new front porch and even just finished a summer marketing promotion about porches. I decided on my walk that I will have a great front porch the first chance I get. And by front, I mean front where your neighbors have 2 choices- talk to you or consciously ignore you. I can't wait to see what they do! Which reminds me, I still haven't met enough neighbors...

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KC Women's Triathlon

It's true, my sister and I did a sprint triathlon (500M swim, 10 mile bike,5K run)on Saturday. We did it more than anything just to have done one and to get time with each other during the training too. But time training together or alone ended up being sparse. Yes, Carrie, you can laugh.

I am not all that competitive, in sports at least... trying to prove my point may be a different story. So the idea of competing hard to beat training times or even beat my sister just seems like a waste of energy. I like to think sometimes I may be a little hard core and really care about winning, but then I remember my high school tennis career where my best friend and I begged our coach to let us play down a seed so we could have more fun and realize...nope, not hard core.

There were a lot of interesting dynamics happening during the morning because it was an ALL women's race. Girls rule, boys drool, no boys allowed.... 350 women of all ages and sizes. I laughed out loud with the girl next to me (she was about my age) when a woman twice our size and 3x our age passed us running. (laugh again Carrie)

It was so interesting to see an event like and just observe WOMEN. As you walked around everyone talked about their families, kids, why they were doing the race, who they were doing it with, etc. All the rookies were constantly encouraged by the vets. Over and over and over and over wherever you walked you would year, "you can so do this.... you'll be great!" Lots of talking, lots of estrogen, lots of thighs and lots of cellulite....it truly was a beautiful thing. No one appeared to be comparing themselves or self conscious. The women who you thought would totally rock it, you passed and the first one out of the water in 6 minutes no one would've guessed based on what she looked like!

One of my favorite parts was on the run some kids had side walk chalked for their mom. They wrote... "GO MOM!! Dad's still asleep!"

The last triathlon I watched there were tons of mom's carting kids around in the heat to cheer on dad. Now, it was dad carting the kids around to cheer on mom. And twice I saw a mom step out of line before the race to help dad with a screaming kid. There were dads exhausted before the race started with the kid screaming for mom, and other sympathizing dads giving the "I feel you dude" nod and chuckle.

There was the dad there to watch his 30 year old daughter. She had just gotten married in October. Her husband wasn't there because he couldn't miss his fantasy football draft. Seriously....really? I'm all about guys doing guy stuff and having guy time, and I can't even argue the potential benefit of some of the fun/bonding around fantasy football. I even think all men need a little "man space" in their home. Who knows, maybe his wife didn't care if he was there. Maybe she had fantasy football picks too. I don't know the whole story. I just can't help but wonder what dad thinks of his son-in-law now. Regardless of some schlepper husbands, it was cool to see all the husbands and dads pulling for their girls.

It was VERY obvious that the dynamics are totally different co-ed. I've done some bike rides and you just want to remind some of the men that they're not going pro and they still have to take out the trash when they get home. In this race, if someone hit you during the swim (which they did!) You'd hear a loud "sorry!" Swimming in brown lake water in hoards of people is very interesting and basically nullified all the stroke mechanics and training. Oh well!

On the bike, I realized at one point that I'd totally forgotten I was in a race. I was watching the scenery, thinking about some stuff I'd read earlier, thinking about my new job, a friend I recently got to see, etc. Then, I heard "on your left" as a cyclist passed me and I came back to reality.... Oh yeah! I'm in a triathlon right now! That made me laugh... like I said, I'm hard core.

Then on the run, I was pacing with a girl about my age and another who could've been our mom. They had just met. We all introduced ourselves and hung for a bit. Another confirmation that this was a women's race! I could've used a little entertainment on the run... maybe a guy with a mustache would've helped.

But in the end, it all reminded me of why for generations throughout so many different cultures, women have always gone to the well for water...together.

Not so much candid camera...

Wait, are the Bourne movies actually real? Check out this article... Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.

And side note based on where my brain took me next... I have a neighbor pushing at least 90 who's name is Dorthy and her dog's name is Toto, yes it's true. She's s so cute that she wears the cliche perfectly and will under no circumstances let you help her rake or mow her lawn.... not kidding, don't try.

Pictures from the triathlon I did with my sister coming soon... who am I kidding, probably tomorrow.

Theology of Singleness

This post is coming to you with some reservation with the fear I would sound like a bitter single whose friends have all ditched her, but that's simply just not the case. I trust those who know me would vouch for me on that one. I would love to hear people's comments but understand it's a little bit of a sensitive topic. (you can always post anonymous). There could be many other clarifications or caveats to this post like how living in the Midwest informs things or how good or bad my married friends have done this, or if I would still right this the same if I were married, but I'm skipping all that b/c there's not time here and it's not the point. The point is to look at how all this may effect the ways we set up life with each other.

This all stems from a talk by Lauren Winner when she was at Jacob's Well about how the church is orienting around single and married life. She is married by the way.

The idea is that the church seems to place a higher value on married life than they do single life.
It's as if being single is simply the space between being legally adult (18) and being a real adult (married). It's seen as a means to an end or a necessary evil.

Lauren presents the case that as the church we tend to dismiss single people as not yet being totally grown up. You can hear it in the language used around 20's groups or her story of a girl in her late 20's seated at the kids table while her 24 year old married sister is seated with
the adults. We all (married or single) have plenty of our own stories we could tell.

But my reason for even posting this is that this idea may have much deeper implications than we realize.

Lauren says, "When we as the church ghettoize singleness and begin to privilege
one over another we are in effect the eye saying to the elbow take a hike I have no need for you."

She goes on to describe marriage and singleness as interwoven pages of the same novel to tell us different pieces of the story of life with God.
Then provides really great distinctions between the value of each but there's just not space here. You can listen to it to get the whole thing. But in brief:
Marriage:

• see the power of God's relentless and frankly reckless fidelity.
  
• she quotes someone "people must persevere in love b/c our community needs to see God's love actualized among God's people"
  

Singleness

• Jesus was single- he is our picture of life lived most fully- not a cute quip but really to get at the heart of something really radical of the Christian message--Identity.
• fundamental inheritance and identity comes from membership
  in the family of Christ Mark 3:31-34
  
• singleness in the church instructs us in true identity
• instructs us in creating and protecting an emptiness for God
• tutors us that our primary relationship with one another and perhaps our truest relationship is that of sibling and not of spouse. -Matthew 22:23-33
  

They need one another and neither call is better or holier than the other. Both are essential and both require renunciation and even suffering.

She then quotes an Eastern orthodox theologian discussing the renunciation and suffering of being "called" to be single or married or any other calling really.

"we should think of vocation as an invitation, a call from the friend. I accept it today in the contours of my present situation until the time when I may perhaps see more clearly. One's vocation is found exactly on the crest between necessity and creative freedom along the line of faith which reveals the direction as its free and strong confession grows. One's entire vocation, whether married or singleness, is an option. It is an answer to a call that has been heard. It can simply be the present condition. It is never a voice that clarifies everything. The dimness inherent in the life of faith never leaves us. There is one thing we can be sure of, that every vocation is accompanied by a renunciation. One who is married renounced monastic heroism. A monk renounced married life. The rich young man of the gospel is not invited either to marry or to enter a monastery. He had to renounce his wealth, his having, his preferences in order to follow the Lord. However in all cases of deprivation that scripture speaks of, grace offers a gift and out of a negative renunciation it creates a positive vocation."

In the end, it's not just about not making singles feel bad or including them (most would resent the shallow effort just for the sake of inclusion). It is potentially much more about how our language around single/married life affects not only kingdom life together, but possibly our theology as well.